Succession

My nose caught Alpha's trail and he was not alone. The breeze brought me another scent on the wind, and something urged me towards them both. They were not all that far ahead of me now, but beyond the range of my ears still. They moved north through the trees, towards an all too familiar place, and my pace picked up as soon as I realized where they were headed. I had said I would be there, and I was hell bent to make sure I was.

I stared into the water of the warm pool, seeing the odd reflection of the crystal cave beyond, a trick of the light, an optical illusion of sorts, and I spot my quarry, and apparently, theirs as well, all standing it seemed with copies of themselves, three times over. I stared and marveled at the oddity as I do every time I see it before I gave my head a shake and dove into the water. I came up into the pretty little cave, dripping wet yet focused on the naked pair the wolves had hunted down finally.

I was embarrassed for them both, for neither of them seemed to have the self respect to be so for themselves. The Fallen made me cringe, listening as he turned from insolent egomaniac to pathetic and pleading in a few short minutes, all the while calling upon my sister's name in order to spare himself his fate. How he could stand there and beg to be allowed to remain in Pack lands...using her as his shield, while his naked wench stood three paces away? Wolves mate for life...

I bared my teeth at her and she scurried away, apparently 'One' is brighter than she seems. Once the pale impostor was gone, it was far easier to focus on the task at hand, as Alpha showed his true colors, and impressed me. He was firm, concise and yet not so arrogant as to not consult and respect his subordinates. The entire matter was settled quickly and without bloodshed, for now and that was far better than I had hoped for.

There may still be trouble ahead, but we had survived our first task as Pack. I see not only Alpha but another as well, one I had not expected such cooperation from, in a new more, appreciative light. It leaves me hopeful, which I will confess, is a rare thing. Can it be possible, that there is hope still....for the Pack?

The Value of Vows

He and I work as one, the structure slowly but surely taking shape, the first of those to come. Pulling the skins taut over the poles, the strength between the pair of us ensuring the surface smooth and securely in place as we lash it down. "do it" I confirm, "tie it off" and then we both step back and look upon the teepi. "I hope you like it...it's yours" he announces to me. I am not sure what I expected really, I knew how he felt. But still...another home? What is that now? Five? Still, when he looked at me and said, "I want you to stay..." I looked back at him and simply...wanted to.

So yet another tent lies abandoned in the fields, and my things move with me once more. He is right, this...truly is a sacred place, and here above all else, must be protected, by blood if necessary. Those who steal from Sykala himself chooses to face those devoted to protecting his domain. The Crown at least has seen the abuse of the fields, the lands themselves, and taken measures to conserve what little we have. Do they not realize that this little patch of wilderness is all that is left?...if we let it fall to ruin, they ensure the end for us all. The greedy and the foolish will spell disaster if left unchecked. I for one have vowed to not let that happen.

Vows, indeed, I have pledged my fangs and my spear to a new Alpha. I was not convinced, am still even now, skeptical. But how I have hoped and prayed for someone to step forth and take charge, show what leadership is meant to be, what sacrifice and commitment means. I have taken a risk, and placed the last of my shattered faith in this Wolf. Surprisingly, I am not the only one he swayed....and the Pack...lives again, in greater numbers than has been seen for some time. Let us hope we can move and be one as we should, one focused being instead of a pack of snarling mutts bent on our own demise.

I have managed, to meet the requirements the Cloaks have in place to ensure I keep the tavern. I am once more, surprised. I own a bar..and a bird that will likely out live me. The apartment lies empty still, and I have no idea what to do with the space. For now, it goes unused.

I long for martial law to end, so I can forsake my authority in the city. Every time I set foot within the walls, I am drawn into something I would rather ignore. The games and power struggles between the peasantry and the nobility, the cat and mouse games of the Night Demons and the Vek. Yes I am little more than a glorified demon hunter, but that suits me just fine. I know my place out in the fields, but within the walls, I am caged and yet further and further I am being draw into the dirty little world within them.

He once asked me to decide, decide where my heart lies...is it possible that I must choose one part of me, and sacrifice the rest? I hope it is not necessary, I hope a balance can be struck, I pray, that peace can be found without having to cut away something I love to achieve it. But it is said, if it is worth having, it is worth fighting and sacrificing for. It is very unlikely I will come out at the other end with all of me intact. Something will have to give....

Resignation and Resolve

"what is her fucking problem?"

Those words echo in my mind, swirling around in my skull like a leaf caught in an updraft. Does he think I can not see that pale version of me that follows him around, pretending to be some sort of replacement for her. Does he think I can not smell her offensive odor in the den? I know they are FAR too close already, my sister only gone a few days and he is already ready to take another. He had brought that ridiculous imposter into HER home while she struggled to feed and care for HIS offspring. All the while, he spews his meek little questions after her at me, as if -that- will convince me he is not a traitorous bastard. No wonder she left. I knew long ago how selfish he is, but it took a great deal of pain endured by my sister for her to figure it out too. I would not tell her, I could only support her as she figured it out herself.

The trip into the mountains to retrieve a body, proved unfortunately necessary. I had hoped the rantings of that idiot were proven false, but, after scouting the pass, taking on dangerous game, and putting up with infuriating company, there it was. Another of the Cloaks has fallen. It occurred to me as I claimed his belongings, after dragging his body down from the cliffs, that he did not seem to care for me much. It was a shame, I had truly hoped he might save us, unite us somehow, remind me..teach me, what a true leader is meant to be. But sadly, he has passed from this world, and now I must seek out the only person I have ever seen him show a true interest in, and tell her he is dead.

Bless him, my companion, my friend, my confidante. He is simply there, offering what he can, always given without expectation or demand. He beats me relentlessly with his frustrating, barbaric logic, and time and time again, successfully makes his point. He distracts me with his dreams and goals, pulling me out of the downward spiral of sorrow and anger, and keeps me balanced, gives me reason and hope. He is the only person left who would noticed if I passed, who would mourn the loss of me. I am thankful the Storm Father has brought him to me, for I think I would have lost my mind without him. He helped me survive the plague, helped me regain my lost memories, helped me retain my temper against those that invoke my fury, and gives me reason to do more than throw myself in the path of poison and pain.

Yes, thank you Storm Father.....once more, it takes me entirely too long to see the gifts you bring.

Once Again, an Only Child

She's gone.

I speak of her reasons, and I am calm when I do. I do not let it show, just how much her leaving cuts me. I do not take it personally, I know why she did, why she needed to, and she was right, it was the only way. If she stayed, things would have just gotten worse for her. I know I would have tried to be there, and put in as much effort as I could possible spare for her, but in the end, she would have been alone with those who tormented her heart and so, I can not blame her for going. I can only miss her. Every time I think I can finally spend time with her again, we are cast apart by fate for weeks or months on end. She is the last of my shattered family and she is gone and try as I might, I can not help but feel abandoned.

I stand there, in the clean, empty apartment, and it occurs to me, that before he gave me this place, I did not even know it existed. I loved him once, long ago, but had never seen the inside of his home. He had always been found, wandering the expansive boundaries of mine. Now, here I am, with his cast off leftovers of a broken life, all crated and tucked away, and I wonder, what am I going to do with it this place?

I do not have time to dwell, even with my sister's departure, there is still so much to do. I fill the bowl full of seed for squawking masse of misery upon the perch, and count my fingers when I turn away. "I will be back tomorrow Scarlet...you bitchy bundle of feathers" I grumble aloud into the otherwise empty space, "perhaps I should hire a cook...let them take the apartment" I muse as I pull the door closed behind me.

Being a landlord on top of being a business owner, how quickly things have changed. I am being drawn further and further into the 'stone cage' as my friend likes to put it. He is right, that is exactly how it feels here, and yet I am here more and more, supposedly of my own free will.

I step outside and look up at the night sky, and am greeted by a crisp breeze and stars peeking through the torchlight that lines the streets. "I need to go home" I murmur to the winds, smelling the salt upon the air as I move towards the allure of it. It takes me no time at all before I am on the beach and feeling better for it, and my feet begin to automatically return me to the path I have walked countless times before, to the safety of my camp, and to the one person left in this world who still cares I exist.

All In A Days Work

I push to my feet, and for once, I am not covered in blood, but instead I wear a thin coating of dust. This place is filthy, unused items, wood, weapons, sheaths, bottles of booze and countless other forgotten things, once likely thought important, now sitting idle and unused. It becomes obvious to me, that he rarely stayed here, and that it was more just a place to keep his things, and not a place he called home.

The apartment would be nice, if it were not for the clutter, so I spend hours tidying and scrubbing and sorting through belongings that are not my own, until I can once more see the floor to sweep and then wash it clean. I have promised the space to my sister, to keep her safe, to let her rest, and I will not have her and the pups coming in here with it looking like this.

As I spend an hour on my knees, washing a faded spill from the otherwise good carpeting, I think about how it is that this place came to be mine. He has gone...he was determined to depart, and nothing I said made any difference. I can not say I understand his reasons, for it has been a long time since I understood anything at all about him. But when he asked me to take the place, and keep it going, take care of it...I could only accept. I would do nearly anything for him, I never once stopped caring. I am not sure he realizes that, but now, I fear it is too late to make him know it.

My knees ache by the time I am finished, such domestic chores not exactly within my usual skill set, but I manage to get the place in shape, and I nod with satisfaction at my efforts. She will be safe here while she sorts herself out, so will the children, and that means everything.

I have other tasks to get to today, and the list seems to grow every time I blink. The fields, as always require my attention, demons seem as thick as ever even though Darkfall has slipped away from us finally. Thankfully, I have a little help out there these days, and it frees me from time to time to take care of other pressing responsibilities. Now, I have to put my mind to learning an entirely new skill, something I have no interest in, but I promised I would do my best, and so...that is what I will do. I still need to track down that wayward Cloak..and ask if he still wishes me to teach combat training in the arena, and remember to feed that damned bird once in awhile. All this, I try to keep straight while I help a friend build a village.

Yes a village, a whole village, a settlement for his people, should there actually be any left. He lives and moves and drives himself upon that hope. I can not see how anyone will come, but if it makes him happy, then I will do what I can.

As I close the door, thinking about what furniture still needs to be put in place within, it occurs to me, that I still have ingredients to collect. The plague is not dead yet, and I for one plan to have a few things put away in case they are needed. I mentally add that to my ever growing 'to do' list, and walk though the kitchen and into the rowdy sounds of the tavern beyond.

"uhh...Miss..Mork..err..Miss..Rashka.." the barkeep calls, uncertain on exactly how to address me. "just Rashka is fine" I point out, allowing him a few moments of my thinly stretched time, "well..its just that we are low on rum and whisky..". I nod, and add it to the list, "I will get to it as soon as I can...I promise" I offer to him before slipping out the door before someone else tries to add to it.

It is just getting dark, but there is no sleep for me just yet. There is simply too much to do.

A Guardian's Gentle Nudge

"Rashka!!" the word floating over the fields carrying with it a tangible level of impatience.

I knew I was already in trouble, so I lingered a while, lying upon my back in the grass, watching the suns chase each other towards the horizon, the first, had already won the race and the second was just crossing the finish line. Dark violet hues rose into the sky from the other end of the small world bringing with it the cool night breezes and the heralds of cricket song.

"Rashka!!" the voice now has hit its limits straining in frustration from across the river.

I let out a soft sigh, and push myself up picking up the small wolf pup that had fallen asleep upon my chest. "we better go, she sounds cranky" I murmured in flawless human. I had been sneaking around with my little friend for the better part of a week now. He was hurt, poor thing, and hungry when I saw him shivering by the muddy bank, wet and miserable. Mother would simply lose her mind if she knew I had him, so I tucked him into my small backpack and began to make the trek through the darkening fields back to town.

I was only five or six summers old when I found that pup, but had the body of a human girl twice that age. It made me stand out, you could say, in the small town filled with Aartiran's, that and the fact my skin was azure blue. Yes, standing twice as tall as any my own age and blue as the sky to boot. This might have been why I spent endless days in the fields, driving my mother to an early sentence of grey hair.

I snuck him in and out of the small apartment at the back of the bakery that we called home, for almost two weeks, begging milk from the tavern owner to feed him. It was when he started to get stronger, and more curious and eating bits of ground meat, that we were discovered. He wandered out of my room and into the kitchen, and was found by my mother in the morning.

The screams were what woke me up, and the panicked yelps of Kinta. Kinta...mother said my father would call me that, when I was just an infant, it means 'little heart'. Bolting from my bed I burst into the kitchen to find my mother, chasing Kinta around the room with a broom, the pup in a frantic state of panic. "Kinta!" I cried out, my mother stopping her assault to glare at me, "oh Rashka...you didn't!" she groans, and with that the little pup flees towards me and the obvious sanctuary I provided. Plucking the mischievous furball off the floor, it was only then did I see the extent of the damage. The venison, the chicken, the pork...all pulled out of the coldroom, and chewed through and dragged about the floor.

"Rashka that is a weeks worth of meat pies wasted!" my mother scorned, "get that little beast OUT of my kitchen and see that he does not come back!". I was crestfallen, but I hurried my little friend out of the range of my mother's fury and took him towards the fields, walking with him clutched to me close, speaking in soft tones and earning a flurry of wolfish kisses.

I knew the grasslands well, even then, and understood it was time to set my little companion free again. I was aware that now that it had turned to morning, the wolves would be further north, so I stepped off the bridge and wandered the banks of the river until I turned west, and tried to pick up a sign of the pack.

It took a few hours, but eventually, I spotted them a short distance off, pausing to look at the little canine who had since fallen asleep in my arms. "I know I said I would always take care of you Kinta.." I murmured kissing the little pup upon its head, "trust me...this -is- taking care of you". With that, I boldly approached the wild pack, and held the little pup towards them as I gained their attention. "he belongs with you" I remember saying and then placed Kinta in the grass and turned around. I walked steadily away from the pack and the little pup, and only looked back once. Kinta was being thoroughly investigated by a pair of adult wolves, but he was watching me.

I still see him now and then, he is much bigger than he was back then. He is Alpha of the wild pack now, and none of the field wolves are a threat to me. Kinta was my first contact with Sykala I believe, my first deliberate nudge towards the life I lead. The Guardian's have always come to me when my need was great and lent their aide and comfort to still my mind and heart. I envy him, his link to his pack, his simple life, his place in the world. What I would not give to find the belonging he has, but that is not what the Storm Father has in mind for me it would seem.

Of Quests and Questions

I handed over another pile of oddly metallic items, small and so precious, these little promises of life renewed. The man who takes them, seems grateful and yet somehow burdened to have them in his possession and quickly tucks them away and bear them to who can turn them into rescue.

The lake is quiet. A rabbit on the edge of the water, a span or two ahead, I hear the movements of a crane just beyond sight in the monochromatic night, and for once I see stars in the night sky instead of the dreary worn mood that the Storm Father has cast upon us of late, in all his infinite misery. I see no demons, no threats in the wilds and I have swept the fields twice, just once again this afternoon with...

Yes....what of this new companion....friend? Yes...I would think he fits that word well. I know he wants more, he has big dreams, big ambitions, even if they are encompassed in his rather small world. But do mine fit into that of his? Do I even have such things? 'Be proud of yourself and your accomplishments' he said to me once, and I could not allow for such folly.

Why? I wonder...

What is it that makes it so hard to hear a compliment and accept it as truth? What is so difficult about being more than just a soldier? Certainly, complete and willing servitude is a very simple path to walk, however, it complicates matters when you are merely guessing at what it is you think your Master wants of you. I was given no direct instructions about what I was to do with my Gift. Wouldn't that be wonderful? To be able to just know what it is you are supposed to do for success in life. Yes, I suppose we all would want such challenges to be easy and expected, but that is not the way of things. And, what would we learn, after all, if we had it all just given to us?

So, this leaves me still, with the question, what do I want? I asked him, but I find myself strangely silent when I ask myself. There are plans being hatched. Do I wish to be apart of them? Martial Law can not last forever, life will slowly return to normal eventually. Where would I like to see myself standing when we gain the upper hand on chaos, at least for a little while? That I would think, is the real question.